April 25, 2013, remains one of the darkest days in Miami Dolphins history as the team rolled out its current pathetic logo and uniforms for all to see. Three years on and the mere site of the logo makes my blood boil.
People often mock me:
“What’s the big deal, it’s a logo!”
“You should show more loyalty to your team!”
“You’re angry with your team because you don’t like a logo?”
Yes, I am angry. Boiling to the point where I’ve achieved the dream of living in Florida and refuse to buy season tickets or attend a game as a means of protest. This pains me greatly because I always imagined owning season tickets if I ever moved to Florida. I used to travel down to games from New York to “be among my own people.” Also, I applaud the team for the stadium upgrades and would very much like to see it.
But I am stubborn. And I realize my one-man boycott amounts to zero change. But I have to stick to my principals. The new logo remains banned from my house. My relatives don’t even bother purchasing Dolphins merchandise for gifts because they know it’ll just send me into a patented long-winded screeds.
And…Attention Dolphins Marketing and Ticketing Departments: My kids are being raised to support my wife’s NFC team — New Orleans. They learned to shout ‘Who Dat!’ before they could say ‘mama’ — and that’s in no way an exaggeration. I support this notion as I’m not about to hand my children over to the Dolphins’ crass marketing engine where they run around shouting contrived slogans like “#FinsUp!”
But, back to the Dolphins. As word leaked out about a pending “uniform update” or “re-branding” critics chimed in and uttered the phrase “It’s time for an update.” They also declared a Dolphin wearing a football helmet an anachronism from the primitive days of the old AFL.
Furthermore, you see teams with long traditions who have updated their uniforms and remained well within the spirit of their logo and look — Minnesota, Detroit, Arizona, Washington and New Orleans. You also have teams like the Jets, Giants, Bills and Niners who have actually returned to their classic looks.
Look, we utterly detest the Jets. We’d root for the Taliban if they played against the Jets. But let’s face it, the return to their AFL uniforms adds a tremendous amount of class over their Leon Hess-driven gas-station uniforms from the late-70’s.
The reaction to last season’s roll out of the Dolphins classic uniforms confirms fans view those uniforms as clearly superior to the modern, mindless model the team sports today.
What’s wrong with the current logo?
The Dolphin floats in space like a squiggle of toothpaste in the AquaFresh logo. The leaping Dolphin aspired to something — leaping across the face of the sun while leaving its watery environs. The former logo supported the idea of an organization rising. The new logo floats…level…like the 6-10 to 9-7 record range the Dolphins can’t seem to ever escape. It does not, despite popular belief, denote speed or “forward momentum” as some claim.
The current logo, along with the dominant aqua/coral whatever-you-want-to-call-it color fades in bright light. The white face masks further drive the blinding light effect. Overall the Dolphins current uniforms — thanks to the downgrading of orange in the overall color scheme — makes the uniform appear as something out of either NFL Europe or an unlicensed Japanese video game.
The Dolphins recent stadium upgrade — where all the seats are now aqua — serves as evidence to conclude Stephen Ross dislikes the color orange. He merely allows the Dolphins’ most exciting color to “hang around” as a mere accessory enhancement because, well, he has to.
The bottom line is this: The Dolphins uniforms now befit their status as a lower-third NFL organization. The change represented the completion of the club’s descent.
Teams with pride and tradition don’t “re-brand,” they double-down on tradition and play it up. All the teams mentioned above have taken their turns at the bottom of the NFL barrel and all of them stuck with their traditional looks.
But that’s for teams with pride and tradition. Generally speaking, you know.