Dolphins End Joke of Season Dressed Like Clowns

All-Aqua Dolphins Uniforms a Disgrace

How fitting: the Miami Dolphins dressed as clowns for the season-ending match of yet another bad joke of a season.

The all-aqua mono-uniform reared its ugly head in Stephen Ross’ all-aqua-seated stadium Sunday against the World Champion New England Patriots. New England’s uniforms offer a horror show in their own right as Bill Parcells oversaw the single-worst uniform downgrade in NFL history.

Overall, when will this mono-uni trend go bye-bye in the NFL? The look has become the uniform equivalent of the hipster beard/tight haircut. It’s lame, stupid, ugly and unnecessary. The NFL and Nike need to realize: There was not one bad uniforms in the 1970’s if you include the older Jets and Giants uniforms. The designers of that era created perfection.

The current form of aqua washes out on TV when in bright light. The all-aqua uniforms make the Dolphins appear iridescent. The logo also washed on the side of the helmet in bright light.

Again, everything is marketing gimmick with this club. Any sense of class or tradition vacated this organization years ago. It’s embarrassing to be associated with this team on so many levels and yet, our loyalty…what can you do?

And, BTW, have you noticed how, under Ross, orange sits on the brink of being phased out of the Dolphins color scheme? The orange seats from Sun Life Stadium disappeared with the overhaul. Every single one of them. The logo and striping of the Dolphins current abominations completely focuses on aqua with just a twinge of orange.

How did this happen? Well, we know. One man has preferences about everything — from the place orange plays in the team colors to the fight song to the logo. Ross’ pet peeves manifest everywhere in Dolphins land.

Five Worst Uniform Downgrades in NFL History

1. New England Patriots: From the ball-snapping Patriot and all-American red, white and blue to silver and blue with a patriot head that looks like its being sucked into a black hole. Thanks, Tuna. At least you win Super Bowls in these uniforms.

2. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Another team that traded in stunning duds for downgraded “pewter” and then won a Super Bowl. They’ll never return to the Errol Flynn-inspired Buccaneer Bruce and if the pewter uni’s weren’t horrible enough, the managed to make them even more clownish. Poor Tampa fans.

3. Denver Broncos: From Orange Crush to initiators of the mono-uni craze. These are old Nike-designs that, again, they wore while winning championships. Another logo getting stretched into the event horizon of a black hole.

4. Seattle Seahawks: Lime green? Denim blue? Funky footprints. Disgusting on so many levels.

5. Miami Dolphins: Everything we said above and in the past.

Honorable Mentions:

Cleveland Browns: Why? Why? Why? The current uniforms are HIDEOUS!

Jacksonville Jaguars: Two-tone helmets? Really? Are you an NCAA team? And lose the “teal” you’re black and gold cats, for heaven’s sake. What the heck does teal have to do with anything!

St. Louis Rams: They won the Super Bowl in the bright yellow and blue uniforms and changed to the current gold an blue. Not a massive downgrade, but one from great uni’s to just blah.

Atlanta Falcons: Loved the red helmets and old logo. They lost it going to black. If they could combine the red helmets with the current uni’s, they’d be alright.

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